I avoid his eyes, and with that he knows I've responded. He holds my hand and gives one last attempt. My eyes still have not found his. He begins. His words reflect his heart. The words reach deep inside of me and something comes alive within. He knows the way to my heart. The words become poetic and they drip with the scent of love. I close my eyes. I can feel the warmth of his fingers laced through mine. I inhale every word and guard it in my heart.
He pauses and awaits my answer. I look intently into his eyes. I don't respond.
I unlace my fingers from his and fold the napkin gently back on to the table. I politely dismiss myself. He reclines back in his chair and slumps his shoulder as a sign of defeat.
Once the door behind me closes I begin to run. I run in hopes that I may be able to breathe again. I run in hopes that maybe I'll find an answer to give him.
My legs freeze. I have come to a sharp stop. Like the gentlemen he is he has come after me. I hear him behind me. I can hear his heavy breathing; I can hear his footsteps getting closer. My eyes remain ahead.
I feel the heat of his body. His breathing has found its rhythm once again. He hugs me. The power of his touch is so strong that I have to tightly shut my eyes. He dismisses himself with a kiss to my forehead.
I sit in my car for what seems like hours. Guilt burns like flaming coals over my head. I cannot give orders to my heart. I cannot force my feelings for you when my feelings belong to another man. My heart cannot be yours when my heart lies in the hands of someone else.
I have come to realize, and I hope you know, that I am in the same situation as you.
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